Just in case you thought girls got all the fun...

How better to say "I love my country" than getting knee-deep in manure with your shiny new cowboy boots?

Stomp around

Ah, fall. Time to head out in the crisp air and stomp through mud puddles in 5" platforms emblazoned with Old Glory.

Let the eagle soar...

The way the paint shines on this thing, it reminds me of something.

And by "something", I mean the way animals look when they're rescued from oil spills.

This diamond ring doesn't shine for me anymore...

I can only imagine how much one of these would hurt in a fist fight.

A restful night's sleep

This is the fabric equivalent of your neighbor blaring Lynyrd Skynyrd at 12:30a. Fine on special occasions, cruising for a lawsuit - or at least a strongly worded letter from the Neighborhood Association - the rest of the time.

Out of curiosity...

Why is there a velociraptor on the flag?

On a rampage

I have no words.

This is just car-crash amazing.

Classy.

Really, how else is there to announce "I love my country" than an uncomfortable piece of fabric wedged between your cheeks, accessorized with a spangled visor?

It's like low-budget porn meets Aunt Bertha's July 4th barbecue.

Born to be Mild

Because nothing says rebellion like a cheaply made ceramic eagle on a Harley-Davidson knockoff.

The Eagle has landed.

Which is sharper, the knife, or the person who would carry it?

The world may never know...

I just don't get it.

It's like the bastard offspring of Overly Patriotic and Ugly "handcrafted" Kitch fell in love with a lolcat.

I love my country...

...but not that much.

Hey little sister, what have you done...

Having just had my own wedding, I can say that I saw some pretty hideous wedding dresses out there.

This one, however, takes the cake.

We're #2! We're #2!

What the fu...


Oh.

Oh my.

Y'know. Not even on my most Pinko Commie Liberal Bleedin' Heart day have I ever felt the need to see the flag while defecating.

There's just something inherently wrong about that.

Sorry, Mr. President

Somehow, I don't quite think this is what supporters of Teddy Roosevelt had in mind...

Oil? What oil?

A stretch... Hummer...

With lifted wheels...

And that paint job.

Words cannot describe.

Steers and... wait...

What, was the head not good enough for the flag?

I also wonder if this is some sort of subversive cry for help from the manufacturer. The flag is upside down...

Unacceptable

Really?

I mean... REALLY?

Trucknutz already showed lack of coherent thought, did you really need to abuse the flag while you were at it?

Things are Incorrect.

Let's just get this out of the way:

I love my country. I feel incredibly blessed, even in the worst of times, to live here.

That being said.

Patriotism is best shown in your actions.

Not how many flags you display.

This is Patriotism gone Horribly Wrong.